First Week Observations

Before leaving for the trip, I thought the best comparison for my experience was going to be H.I. McDonough in Raising Arizona, tortured by the Arizona quintuplets. In reality, the experience has been more Reznik in the Machinist. My first four nights in Bangladesh were mostly spent with my mind racing or staring at the ceiling with absolutely no desire to sleep. Things probably would have been easier if it had just been Tania and I in the room, but if you’re feeling anxious, and there are three kids in the room tossing, turning, coughing, and crying then you have no chance of sleep. Some nights, I could squeeze out two hours of sleep, some none. As a consequence, I spent my days feeling sick and didn’t eat much. Hence, the skeletal Reznik. The problem was the Mefloquine. Looking at info online, about 4% of people have anxiety problems on it, and I am one. It also seems to halt any adjustment to time change. I never ceased to be alert at night and groggy during the day here. The problem is that it’s a weekly tablet with a long half-life, so it’s going to fade slowly. I didn’t take my does this Wed and slept pretty well last night. However, it’s 3 AM and here I am again.

Last time in Bangladesh, we took malarone for malaria resistance but found that it caused/enhanced GI problems. Malarone lit says that it’s not supposed to cause GI problems unless taken in massive doses, but I’m guessing those lab studies were done for a relatively short term, with normal food, and a low bacterial load in the food. Taking it for several weeks with spicy food full of fun, new organisms was problematic. The problem was slight until we got food poisoning, and then it became unbearable nag. Our GI tract just couldn’t recover fully while on the stuff. Hence the mefloquine this time. In any case, last time we were here, people asked us why we were taking it and told us that there was very little malaria in Dhaka, which made us more comfortable in not taking it. There is much to say, positive and negative, about travel clinics and the western view of Bangladesh and India. One thing that unfortunate but without a good solution is that they prescribe based on country. So, if I'm in Dhaka, and concrete city of 15 million, I get the same advice as if I was going to the Sunderban, a jungle filled river delta. I will have to play this by ear and do the unfortunate calculus of balancing sleep and anti-malarials. One should not forget that there are plenty of bugs to catch out here (Tania is currently winning a battle against an ugly infection in her eye), and if my immune system is compromised fighting one specific one, that’s not a good plan. Once I’m sleeping through the night, I’ll reassess.

Enough about me.

The boys are doing well overall. Kamran, the older and larger, has proven to be a very low maintainance baby. He cries very little and does so only when he really, really needs food or changing. He seems very content. He’s a sleep warrior, and when he dreams, he’s a Viking. When Kalil dreams, unfortunately, he’s Joe Cocker. Kalil’s a bit twitchy and nervous. If I could hazard a guess, I think that either through necessity or design, his biological mother kept him close at all times. Very close. At the teat close. He is not happy if he is not pressed up against you, and cries when put down. We do our best to swaddle, but he is facing a lot of crying therapy when we return home. He will have to toughen up. I already had a moment when I was feeding Kamran, Kalil started crying, and after failing to verbally comfort him (something that works ok with Kamran), I just let him cry until Kamran and I were completely done. Tania sleeps with him in bed as a consequence, while Kamran is in the crib.

Maya and I sleep on the floor on a mattress, with the bed on one side, and the crib on the other. Last night, I twice caught Maya crawling under the bed and had to drag her back out. All in all, she is doing very well and being a good big sister. She has adjusted to the time change well, is eating well, and is behaving well for the most part. She misses her home, her dogs, her friends, and her time in the park, but this hasn’t caused too many problems. We’ve been meaning to get her to the American Club to do some swimming and play but it hasn’t worked out well for transportation/sleep/twins reasons. One Monday, most likely, she will enroll in a preschool here where Tania’s Aunt Berry works. I think this will help her and us. We can focus on the twins and sleep a bit more, she can get some exercise and interaction with kids. She may even learn some Bangla.

(Tonight we ate at Bangladeshi Fried Chicken, and she actually ate a drumstick, which was great. She usually won’t eat any meat unless its pureed and mixed in something. This is a testament to BFC, which is spicy and good. I think its run by a guy who worked at KFC in the US and came back here and did his Bangla version.)

I hesitate to say this as well, but a few good things. One, our court date to receive legal guardianship of the boys is Sunday. If this gets done on Sunday, it is possible that we will be home by Thanksgiving. Highly possible. I think that would be great. I enjoy seeing everyone here, but I like being home more than anything in the world. Two, we haven’t had any major GI problems. Some of this is just not eating out, some may be that we’re adjusting better this time around, and some may be taking mefloquine rather than malarone. Three, they had a really nice birthday party for me last night. Great food (the chicken tikka and the beef kabobs were the best, great with naan). I would post a picture of the two cakes but it’s on Salman’s camera. It said “Happy Birthday to Keith, with ‘Desi Love.” They were blueberry cakes with cheesecake layers, purchased by Pial, Tania’s cousin. Very yummy.